The Gap
November 2022
I can’t die like this
I need to try everything on my bucket list
My life was short and there is nothing left
And it passes by like a panorama
— Panorama by Lee Chanhyuk
And so once again I am posting something on Medium to remind me of what I have done during the last few months of living. Reminiscence. Track of memories. Taking some time to learn, comprehend, forgive, and look past to move ahead.
Here today that I will be talking about my life in October and November which has been a period I would like to declare as the ‘gap’. The gap between my time as a student and as a fresh graduate. The gap where I took some time off almost everything I have been doing. Weeks of me focusing solely on myself and all sorts of relationships I have. A period of recharging, ready to restart with brand new energy, better than before.
Ever since coming back from the Netherlands earlier this year, I have attained a new ‘hobby’ of cycling though I would say that it is not as easy to cycle here in Indonesia. No bicycle path, no fiets parking spot in your nearest grocery store, and fewer people commute using bicycles. This has also shifted my relationship with bicycle, from almost daily to only the weekends or Sunday mornings. The racefiets I brought back from the Netherlands to my home in Bandung, Indonesia have been in almost the shape same as before, but most of the time it just stays there in the garage waiting to be out and about. The bike is much older than me. The bike with the gear shifter located still at the bike frame. The bike that I have so much sentimental value over.
I have been making time to cycle on weekends with family or friends, preferably in the morning to avoid the crazy traffic. Sometimes passing through small alleys or ‘gang’ as we would call it. Most of the time stop at a cafe to have some Kopi Susu. Passing through places I never knew existed before. Exploring the city relying solely on my bike and my two healthy legs.
Aside from cycling, I have been in pursuit of a new sport that I never tried or explored before. Then in late October, I started taking Golf lessons. I am no good at it, for sure, but I am going ahead with the sport and have been enjoying the learning process thus far. I am hoping that by next year I will be able to do proper swings. Fingers crossed.
In early November I went on a short trip with my mother to Banjarmasin to meet my uncle and aunt living in Banjarbaru. Only at these moments do I realize how much I would like to travel much more with my parents, taking them to places we have never been before, spending some quality moments together, and creating core memories.
Then the big trip (for me) came in mid-November where I spent a week in Yogyakarta. The trip with waves of emotions coming inside and out. My last trip to Yogyakarta as a student. Coming back to Yogyakarta after the pandemic, after my return from attaining my other degree in Groningen. Everything just feels surreal and I can’t stop wondering how everything has changed yet everything stays the same. Coming back to the room I used to live in Yogyakarta and staying in the same bed but feeling like I am a different person yet the same. Meeting up with friends from Yogyakarta days and talking about the past as it happened just yesterday. Eating the food I usually ate during my days as a student but forgetting how it used to taste before.
The graduation then came after. It happened just two days ago as I am writing this. We celebrated. Joy sparkled in our eyes. The sense of achievement after all the hurdles. The rollercoaster of emotions swayed me. Graduation day feels like a moment of celebration but a farewell at the same time. The campus hall feels familiar but is not the same again. The people chilling at selasar is not one I recognized anymore. Younger fellas filling in the building as if giving me a sign that it is time to move on and walk ahead to new journeys ahead. Four years have passed by and some things have changed, including me. All I am hoping now is that all is for the better.
During the gap, I keep myself healthy both physically and mentally by doing some exercises, reading books and watching shows I have been meaning to, and catching up with friends both in Bandung and Yogyakarta which has been a purifying moment for me. Thinking about the past, exchanging moments of the present, and talking about the future.
Maybe now is the best time to log off before I started writing another paragraph that may sound too much. I am hopeful for what is ahead and will always be thankful for all the support I have been given from my surroundings. Sending virtual love from me to you for taking the time to read just another of my Medium post.
Like no other song in the EP, takes the listener on a drive, which in turn makes them feel exactly like what a 21st-century relationship feels: confusing, superficial and unevenly-paced.
— Comments on HYUKOH’s song: Graduation by Seoulbeats (2018)
